Thursday, March 22, 2012

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest first.


Passover on the overpass. East Derwent Highway, Lindisfarne. March 2012.

Theme Thursday again and I share a photograph of an overpass that sits right outside of Henry’s classroom at Lindisfarne North Primary School. I have become something of a FIXTURE on Mondays at this overpass as Henry and I (and usually Ezra as well) walk in to school and then in the afternoon I (usually sans Ezra) walk in and then we walk back.

Now, I mention this because ever since I have had children I have noticed a disturbing trend. See, when people see me walking to and from school with the child you attract all sorts of comments like, “what a wonderful father!”, “great to see!”, “Henry’s so lucky!” etc etc etc. I’ll do it (probably) 25 times this year. Jen will do it closer to 150 and no one will mention it. There will be no pats on the back or words of encouragement, because people just assume that this is the mother’s role.

Next week I am taking Wednesday off and will be accompanying Ezra to the Little Learner’s program at the Kindergarten. I enjoy it, Ezra enjoys it and I would hope to be able to do it four or five times this year. If I mention this to anyone, I half expect confetti to fall from the ceiling and someone to hand me a bottle of champagne. The carry-on this seems to produce is, frankly, embarrassing. Jen will attend Little Learners another twenty and again it will merit no mention.

This is unfair. Mothers keep getting a raw deal and all Fathers have to do is something other than scratch their arse and they get a pat on the back. This, in turn, must infuriate mothers and (I think) gives fathers a false understanding of the requirements of parenting.

We should all be FIXTUREs in our kids lives, both for our kids and our partners (ex-partners too). Kids should be at the centre, but so should our relationship with the other parent. Stuff that up and you affect the relationship with your child. Too many people forget this.

Stop doing that!

7 comments:

Irene said...

Amen to that! I know when my eldest was in Kindergarten his best friend's father always dropped him off. Well the consciences was that Paul must not have a mother. Well Paul did indeed have a mother, she worked during the day and his dad worked afternoons just down the street and he would take his lunch at the appropriate time.

Sue said...

What a lovely insightful observation, Kris! It is so true. I also think it is true about a lot of 'female'/'male' roles. I laugh when the fellas at work make a big deal about picking up some shopping on the way home or making a meal for the family (usually when the moon is blue!!!) I can't help asking them if they are mentioning so I may forage in my desk drawer for a medal to award them!!! They probably hate me for belittling their noble actions but it irks me to think they feel it warrants kudos when most of the women there do the same thing daily without it being such a big deal! I might add that I don't rock in on a Monday informing them of the lawns I mowed or the door I fixed or the cupboards I painted!! And don't get me started on the blokes who think it is so bloody fantastic that they change one or two nappies in their babies lives! You and Jen co-parent in the way it should be done. I can't begin to tell you how much I admire both of you. Henry and Ezra are very lucky boys to have you as parents.

Mrsupole said...

I too agree that you both are doing a great job with the boys. They are so cute in the pics. But for you two to show such an interest in their education is something that you two will someday be rewarded greatly.

It is funny how people are so shocked when a man can do a females job but not impressed if a female does a man's job.

Happy Theme Thursday, thanks for playing.

karen-fayeth said...

Just recently there was a dustup here in the US over a commercial for diapers showing men as clueless how to put a nappy on a baby.

Fathers were rightfully upset about this. The notion of the father as not involved in raising a child and clueless how to do so is massively outdated and it's time people got over it.

Anyhow, keep on being a good dad and to your wife, keep on being a good mom. It would seem from your photos that your children are happy, healthy and well loved.

Kris said...

Irene, it's as shocking double standard.

Sue, the worst thing is that more often than not it is women that enforce it!

Mrsupole, they have their moments...

Karen, all that we should be doing is sharing the load.

Sue said...

So true, Kris...and shame on them who do!

Sue said...

So true, Kris...and shame on them who do!