I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.

Patterns. Little Howrah Beach. February 2012.

This week, another stolen Q and A from Sunday Stealing, The Get Out of Jail Free Meme, Part One!

As ever, the invite to contribute questions for me to answer remains open to all!

1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom?

‘Restroom’? That’s even worse that ‘bathroom’! No, I don’t close the door when I am home alone and use the toilet.

2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone?

I prefer to do it online these days! If forced, I’d rather go alone.

3. It's your best friend’s birthday, would you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours

Probably not. I wouldn’t expect it in the first place though.

4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period of time? Why?

How small are these payments? Is there a significant tax loss if I go lump sum? I’ll need more detail before I can decide on this one, although whatever happens I will be allowing myself a regular ‘allowance’ that means I don’t have to work a day job any more.

5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?

These days I need a reasonable level.

6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?

I don’t mind the odd jaunt up a snowy mountain but I am a beach boy at heart.

7. When do you brush your teeth?

In the morning and again at night.

8. Can you watch scary movies alone?

If I wanted to, I can. Can’t say that I have much call for it these days though.

9. Soft bed or firm? And in fantasy land, who's in it with you?

I prefer a firm mattress. In fantasy land, I’d have the misses fired up and ready to go!

10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?

If it’s a nice day I like to get out and take advantage of the day. The kids go a bit stir crazy stuck at home.

11. What's one of your worst memories (that you are comfortable sharing)?

Even my very ‘worst’ memories seem very trite when I think about the entire gamut of human society. I dunno, I remember one particular time that I realised – upon reflection – that I was actually rather lonely. It came as a bit of a shock really.

12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?

I never go into anything looking to start a fight, but if there is one brewing, I have been known to stand my ground (well, aggressively target and argue my opponent into the dust). In the interest of peace, of course.

13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?

With a couple of kids. Or on my own.

14. What are your plans for October?

That’s a long way away. There will no doubt be a birthday party for Henry on the 23rd, so I shall be planning the cake.

15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?

Somewhere right by the beach.

16. What is your ideal profession?

Idler, layabout and general all round dilettante.

17. Are you (or were you) close to your Mom and Dad?

Not particularly. I was a distant child.

18. What is one fear that you can't seem to overcome?

The fear if irrelevance.

19. Are you good at math?

I believe that you mean maths. The word “mathematics” is both a singular and as a plural noun – hence the s on the end. Thus, most people would say “mathematics is my best subject” and not “mathematics are my best subject”. The shortened form “maths”, then, makes sense because the word is still a plural noun and so should still have the “s” on the end. Am I any good at maths? I have a solid grasp of the fundamentals and know my way around a calculator, so I get by.

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.

Can you believe that it is time for Theme Thursday already? Today we are not talking chocolate , toddlers , mess or ignominy . No, today we're dealing with ANIMAL . Now I could have posted a picture of a possum, numbat, wombat, wallaby or any other furry killing machine that roams our fair isle, but I figure that I'd use a far more deadly creature as an example of an animal . Some people - I know them as fools - have chosen to embrace that highfalutin idea that human beans are for some ungodly reason superior to animals. Of course, what these imbeciles seem to forget is that were are simple animals ourselves ! Anyone with a baby, toddler, teenage boy or Queenslander in their household could tell you this. Look at Henry [above]. One chocolate frog in the back of the car on a sunny day and all of a sudden it's Elagabalus meets Bacchus for a quick shandy in the Serengeti and we're down on all fours carrying on like a cat in heat. Fair dinkum, anyone who chooses to ...

This will hurt me...

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