I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

Cherries. Sorell Fruit Farm. December 2012.

Theme Thursday? Already?!?

So she said, "Have you got ANTS in your pants?"

"No."

"Spiders on your Ryders?"

"Uh uh."

"Snails up your veils?"

"Nope."

"Gnats in your spats?"

"Nein."

"Fleas on your keys?"

"Negative."

"Bugs under your jugs?"

"..."

"Roaches over your broaches?"

"Not at all."

"Nits in your knits?"

"How dare you sir!"

"Grasshoppers in your jodhpurs?"

"Now you're just being silly."

"Crabs infesting your prefabs?"

"Absolutely not."

"Crickets in your chicots?"

"That's a stretch."

"Slugs under your rugs?"

"Better."

"Praying mantis in your... in your..."

"Keep trying."

"Acanthodrilidae... Danaus plexippus... Ischnura heterosticta..."

"Take it easy pal. Take it easy".

Berries. Sorell Fruit Farm. December 2012.

Comments

Susan said…

Haha!
Do not even think of leaving, sell your dialogues and stay.

11 January 2013 at 20:16

Irene said…

What a clever post.

12 January 2013 at 11:43

Mrsupole said…

Hi Kris,

That sure is a lot of creatures listed in the rhymes. I love rhyming and think you did a great job. I kept thinking I would do something with "Ants in my pants" but went another route.

I love fresh fruit and veggies. But I am trying to figure out what those see through fruit things are. I am not even sure if I have ever seen them before. They look so delicate and delicious.

Happy TT and hope you are having a fantastic weekend although judging by the fires I see on the news that maybe a safe weekend is more important. So please stay safe and keep us posted.

God bless.

12 January 2013 at 23:00

Pratibha said…

haha .. wherever did u come with such awesome rhymes ;)

18 January 2013 at 23:43

Kris McCracken said…

Susan, still here!

Irene, cheers.

Mrsupole, it is an albino variant of the redcurrant, often referred to as white currant.

Niume, it was hard work!

22 January 2013 at 13:32

Mad as hell

So there I was, arm hooked up to the machine, watching my plasma swirl away into a bag while the morning news dribbled across the screen like a bad fever dream. And what were they showing? A "riot" in Melbourne, allegedly. The sort of riot where the real thugs wear body armour, carry pepper spray and look like they just walked off the set of RoboCop. The people they were beating? A ragtag crew of teenagers and old hippies—probably fresh out of a drum circle, still smelling of patchouli. But sure, let's call it a riot. Now, here's where it really gets good. I mentioned this spectacle to a few people later, thinking maybe they'd share my outrage or, at the very least, give a damn. But no. What did I get instead? A smirk, a chuckle, and—oh, the pièce de résistance—"You should really just let it go." Let it go? Yeah, let me uncork a nice, overpriced cup of coffee, sit back with my legs crossed, and soak in the latest reality TV trash. Why bother caring when ...

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

This will hurt me...

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