Thursday, January 28, 2010

One can only blaspheme if one believes.


One of Henry's most favourite things in the whole wide world is "dinner outside". Here in Tasmania, "dinner outside" equates to "dining with seagulls". Thus, the other evening, we headed on down to Bellerive beach and feasted on an array of scallops, prawns, squid, blue grenadier, dory and chips at the world famous (well, it is now) Fish Bar.

We ate in the shadows of the light towers of the magnificent Bellerive Oval (home of the 2006/7 Sheffield Shield winners, the Tasmanian Tigers) and under the watchful gaze of a gang of seagulls that were loitering about.

Which brings me to Theme Thursday. I got the IMPRESSION that the seagulls were up to no good. The cynosure appeared to be a battered scallop (or perhaps it was a prawn), and despite my warnings to Henry and Ezra to avoid encouraging the winged-rapscallions, an imbroglio ensued when a stray chip found itself on the grass next to us.

You can imagine the commotion. In fact, in the subsequent kerfuffle, one sly bugger slipped away from the group surreptitiously and - unbeknownst to me at the time - exploited my exposed left flank. As I endeavoured to circle the wagons and defend dinner from the attacking hordes, Ezra pointed above and shouted "watch out" (actually, it was "Mama", but that doesn't make any sense as I am not his Mama). It was this moment that I FELT the coup de grace.

Poo right in the eye. Humiliated yet again in front of the children.


On that note, I wish to wish my darling and long suffering wife a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I did manage to procure a number of sought after gifts, but I actually believe that she deserves a medal for putting up with us all.

40 comments:

CatLadyLarew said...

Ah, the old crap in the eye trick... works every time.

Kris said...

CLL, they are buggers.

Betty said...

Ha! I enjoyed that. And your pictures are beautiful.

Tom said...

ugh, did you do an impression of a one-eyed pirate? You know, the one who wipes the gull poo out his eye with his hook hand! That's a joke for another day.

Kris said...

Betty, thank you.

Kris said...

Tom, I swore like a pirate.

Tracey said...

Oh that's horrible. I had that happen once on the play ground at recess. My fellow students laughed for weeks.

Kris said...

Tracey, I have had it quite a few times.

Ms Hen said...

oh no.

lol.

Australia. The separate continent.. with the most unusual animals.. marsupial and monotones.

We have a Beard Dragon .. from Australia.. and a Blue Tongue Skink.

My son, almost 14, wants to be a Herpetologist.

I always wanted to go there..

Kris said...

Ms Hen, we're an odd mob down here.

yamini said...

What a wonderful day!! Happy Birthday Jen all the way from Delhi, India.

Hope you enjoy this day to your heart's fill. :-))

Sue said...

Seagulls...the same all over the world!
And a very, very happy birthday to the most beautiful Jen! We wish her much happiness and love! And indeed, the highest honour that can be bestowed on a mother...not a medal, but the love of her dear little sons...and her wretched husband, who would be nothing without her! hehehehee

Kris said...

Yamini, she will see it!

Kris said...

Sue, I remember you getting poo'd on at the zoo once.

Megan said...

Good job, Ez. Your mind definitely went to the right place when you saw the hordes descending!

Happy birthday to the sufferer.

And a "Spot-On" award to Pixar, for the blank-eyed "Mine?" of the gull.

Kris said...

Megan, "Mama" is very much his default word.

Interestingly, Henry's was "Dada" before it became "more".

studioJudith said...

The Universal
Seagull Salute.

Jjj

Sue said...

The zoo is definitely not the only place I have been poo'd upon! But it so nice that your memory of our visit to the zoo consists of me and shyte!

Roddy said...

I don't know about seagulls. But to have a bird defecate on you is said to bring good luck. Supposedly things can only look up from here. No pun intended.

Who Is Tim Burton? said...

Hi! Kris,
Omg! I finally stop laughing (Note: I never laugh at other, but with...)to type this response.
Shades of Hitchcock's The Birds.
and I most definitely, want to wish Jen a Happy Birthday!
Thanks, for sharing and Happy TT
DeeDee ;-D

JeffScape said...

I've been crapped on by a bird... but I ain't saying where it landed.

Dreamhaven said...

I shudder to think
Of the impression it made
As I felt that poo
Slide down my face.

Happy TT and happy birthday to Jen

Wings said...

Honestly, are seagulls ever up to any GOOD???

No, I don't think so.

Betsy said...

You are so funny!

Happy Birthday to your wife...yes, she deserves a medal..haha...but the gifts will do just fine. :)

Baino said...

Isn't it supposed to be good luck to be pooed on from a great height? Happy birthday to Jen

Stephanie said...

I hate it when that happens!

Kris said...

DeeDee, it was more frightening than that.

Kris said...

Jeff, I am intrigued now.

Kris said...

DH, this one kind of stuck there...

Kris said...

Wings, maybe when they tend their young.

Kris said...

Betsy, she got some presents all right.

Kris said...

Baino, I don't count myself as lucky to have poo in my eye.

Kris said...

Stephanie, I'd be worried if you said that you loved it! ;)

Kris said...

Judith, absolutely.

Kris said...

Sue, Cody would have been Ezra's age.

Kris said...

Roddy, BAH!

subby said...

I can so relate to this one, Kris. Tho' we were siting in the cars( alas, no diner ) and tossing chips onto each others bonnets trying to lure the gulls into...well, you can imagine...the car-wash got busy, heh, heh...

Chuck Pefley said...

LOL!! A wonderful story! And a belated birthday greeting to your wife -:)

Kris said...

Subby, that's a dangerous game.

Kris said...

Chuck, she's a special lady!