Thursday, May 20, 2010

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.


Henry, Ezra and Jen checking out a wallaby. April 2010. It was delicious.

It's Theme Thursday again, and this week another challenging theme: PET. It's particularly taxing as we don’t have any PETs in our house. There is simply no room, in both a physical as well as a metaphysical sense.

You see, we have small children instead.

Childless couples I know often compare PET ownership to child ownership. Most of them - if not quite equating the relationship - sail very close to the wind in that regard. Having owned a few PETs in my time, and now having racked up a few years of being punished blessed by children; I feel more than certain that the fissure between PET and child is immense.

This got me thinking further. What about the advantages and disadvantages of a PET versus a child? Which is better?

Yesterday evening, and well into the night, Jen and I tagged teamed off with our two children: her with a repetitively vomiting Henry and I with an intermittently wailing Ezra (I know who got the better of that deal). During that spiritually enriching but physically tiring experience, a few things came to me that leads me to conclude that having a PET has plenty of upside...
You can throw your PET outside if it plays up; children have all sorts of legislative protections against that, especially in the colder months.

A PET is significantly less likely to talk back when you’re scolding it (unless it is a parrot).

It is more common to give your PET a flippant, rude and/or silly name than a child (although I do note that this appears to be changing).

Socially, it’s more acceptable to house your PET in a detention centre while you enjoy a carefree holiday than it is a child.

There seems to be less fuss made if you decide you’ve had enough of a PET and choose to give it away through a classified advert than there would be with a child.

Ultimately, there are mechanisms in place that – if you’ve had a gutful of your PET, and you’re sick of it wrecking your stuff, chewing your furniture, keeping you up all night, getting poo all over the place and vomiting all over you – allows you to [ahem] quickly, quietly and [ahem] efficiently, remove the problem for good.

28 comments:

Monkey Man said...

Funny comparisons. Watched a tv show with my son to day called Tosh.o and they had a short on that was the same premise. Funny stuff. I played the Theme Thursday this week as well.

Brian Miller said...

but look at the upside, they are ready made someone to take care of you when you get older...and can give them the same treatment they are giving you.

happy tt!

Kris said...

Monkey Man, it sounds right up my alley.

Roddy said...

Obviously you have never been truly attached to a pet, as it isn't as simple as you say.
Pets have rights and feelings.
Just my personal belief!

Kris said...

Roddy, yes, but you've always treated your pets better than your children, so you don't count...

me said...

You've got some good points there - some of them are exactly why my wife & I choose pets over children...

anthonynorth said...

This was great. Funny. Enjoyed it :-)

Alan Burnett said...

Yes, that seems to be a pretty fair summary. I find that both the child and the pet tend to merge into one being and I often address the child by the pet's name. I don't often get an answer - from either of them.

Roddy said...

Kris, you know that is so unfair. I have always treated both you and the animals equally. It is just that the animal is easier to get on with. You know that I have always loved you as much as any of my favourite creatures.

Kris said...

Me, there is an upside (if they turn out wealthy).

Kris said...

Anthony, I should have done some cons...

Kris said...

Alan, I can see that.

Kris said...

Roddy, equal to a budgie, BAH!

Kris said...

Brian, I hope that they earn enough to keep me in comfort!

JGH said...

Haha - all good points! I like having both pets and kids. But it's better when the kids are a little older and can help care for them and curtail their tail-pulling impulses ;o

Tammy Brierly said...

I've beem a parent and now a grandparent. It's totally different with pets. Easier for sure. ;)

Kris said...

JGH, best to get an animal without a tail.

Kris said...

Tammy, can you get kids de-sexed?

The Silver Fox said...

"It is more common to give your PET a flippant, rude and/or silly name than a child (although I do note that this appears to be changing)." [emphasis mine]

Oh, yeah. Ohhhhh, yeah!

Kris said...

Silver Fox, it takes my best poker face sometimes when people tell me what they have named their baby.

Cheryl said...

Happy TT. Interesting twist on this theme.

Kris said...

Cheryl, thanks!

Jingle said...

mutual relation as always, lovely post!

PattiKen said...

Fun! And mostly true, but...

"A PET is significantly less likely to talk back when you’re scolding it"

You obviously don't know my cat.

Baino said...

Ah I remember the heady days of children leaking at both ends, often simultaneously, how do they manage that? I trained my kids the same way I trained my dog. They can sit, stay, beg but have trouble retrieving sticks.

jess said...

kids will get to an age when they vomit and you can make them clean it up. you never reach that point with pets. no sanctioned sick leave or tax kickbacks for pets.

but still, pets are superior :)

eyemakeart said...

why do people have pets?

Kris said...

Jingle, thanks.

PattiKen, some cats do like to argue...

Baino, positive and negative reinforcement!

jess, I have heard of Enterprise Agreements that factors pets in to carers leave.

Eyemakeart, to eat?