Skip to main content

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.


Henry, Ezra and Jen checking out a wallaby. April 2010. It was delicious.

It's Theme Thursday again, and this week another challenging theme: PET. It's particularly taxing as we don’t have any PETs in our house. There is simply no room, in both a physical as well as a metaphysical sense.

You see, we have small children instead.

Childless couples I know often compare PET ownership to child ownership. Most of them - if not quite equating the relationship - sail very close to the wind in that regard. Having owned a few PETs in my time, and now having racked up a few years of being punished blessed by children; I feel more than certain that the fissure between PET and child is immense.

This got me thinking further. What about the advantages and disadvantages of a PET versus a child? Which is better?

Yesterday evening, and well into the night, Jen and I tagged teamed off with our two children: her with a repetitively vomiting Henry and I with an intermittently wailing Ezra (I know who got the better of that deal). During that spiritually enriching but physically tiring experience, a few things came to me that leads me to conclude that having a PET has plenty of upside...
You can throw your PET outside if it plays up; children have all sorts of legislative protections against that, especially in the colder months.

A PET is significantly less likely to talk back when you’re scolding it (unless it is a parrot).

It is more common to give your PET a flippant, rude and/or silly name than a child (although I do note that this appears to be changing).

Socially, it’s more acceptable to house your PET in a detention centre while you enjoy a carefree holiday than it is a child.

There seems to be less fuss made if you decide you’ve had enough of a PET and choose to give it away through a classified advert than there would be with a child.

Ultimately, there are mechanisms in place that – if you’ve had a gutful of your PET, and you’re sick of it wrecking your stuff, chewing your furniture, keeping you up all night, getting poo all over the place and vomiting all over you – allows you to [ahem] quickly, quietly and [ahem] efficiently, remove the problem for good.

Comments

Monkey Man said…
Funny comparisons. Watched a tv show with my son to day called Tosh.o and they had a short on that was the same premise. Funny stuff. I played the Theme Thursday this week as well.
Brian Miller said…
but look at the upside, they are ready made someone to take care of you when you get older...and can give them the same treatment they are giving you.

happy tt!
Kris McCracken said…
Monkey Man, it sounds right up my alley.
Roddy said…
Obviously you have never been truly attached to a pet, as it isn't as simple as you say.
Pets have rights and feelings.
Just my personal belief!
Kris McCracken said…
Roddy, yes, but you've always treated your pets better than your children, so you don't count...
smudgeon said…
You've got some good points there - some of them are exactly why my wife & I choose pets over children...
anthonynorth said…
This was great. Funny. Enjoyed it :-)
Alan Burnett said…
Yes, that seems to be a pretty fair summary. I find that both the child and the pet tend to merge into one being and I often address the child by the pet's name. I don't often get an answer - from either of them.
Roddy said…
Kris, you know that is so unfair. I have always treated both you and the animals equally. It is just that the animal is easier to get on with. You know that I have always loved you as much as any of my favourite creatures.
Kris McCracken said…
Me, there is an upside (if they turn out wealthy).
Kris McCracken said…
Anthony, I should have done some cons...
Kris McCracken said…
Alan, I can see that.
Kris McCracken said…
Roddy, equal to a budgie, BAH!
Kris McCracken said…
Brian, I hope that they earn enough to keep me in comfort!
JGH said…
Haha - all good points! I like having both pets and kids. But it's better when the kids are a little older and can help care for them and curtail their tail-pulling impulses ;o
Tammy Brierly said…
I've beem a parent and now a grandparent. It's totally different with pets. Easier for sure. ;)
Kris McCracken said…
JGH, best to get an animal without a tail.
Kris McCracken said…
Tammy, can you get kids de-sexed?
The Silver Fox said…
"It is more common to give your PET a flippant, rude and/or silly name than a child (although I do note that this appears to be changing)." [emphasis mine]

Oh, yeah. Ohhhhh, yeah!
Kris McCracken said…
Silver Fox, it takes my best poker face sometimes when people tell me what they have named their baby.
Cheryl said…
Happy TT. Interesting twist on this theme.
mutual relation as always, lovely post!
PattiKen said…
Fun! And mostly true, but...

"A PET is significantly less likely to talk back when you’re scolding it"

You obviously don't know my cat.
Baino said…
Ah I remember the heady days of children leaking at both ends, often simultaneously, how do they manage that? I trained my kids the same way I trained my dog. They can sit, stay, beg but have trouble retrieving sticks.
jess said…
kids will get to an age when they vomit and you can make them clean it up. you never reach that point with pets. no sanctioned sick leave or tax kickbacks for pets.

but still, pets are superior :)
Anonymous said…
why do people have pets?
Kris McCracken said…
Jingle, thanks.

PattiKen, some cats do like to argue...

Baino, positive and negative reinforcement!

jess, I have heard of Enterprise Agreements that factors pets in to carers leave.

Eyemakeart, to eat?

Popular posts from this blog

Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it...

I still have the robot on the job. Here you can see the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery . And here is a poem: Soliloquy for One Dead Bruce Dawe Ah, no, Joe, you never knew the whole of it, the whistling which is only the wind in the chimney's smoking belly, the footsteps on the muddy path that are always somebody else's. I think of your limbs down there, softly becoming mineral, the life of grasses, and the old love of you thrusts the tears up into my eyes, with the family aware and looking everywhere else. Sometimes when summer is over the land, when the heat quickens the deaf timbers, and birds are thick in the plumbs again, my heart sickens, Joe, calling for the water of your voice and the gone agony of your nearness. I try hard to forget, saying: If God wills, it must be so, because of His goodness, because- but the grasshopper memory leaps in the long thicket, knowing no ease. Ah, Joe, you never knew the whole of it... I like Bruce Dawe. He just my be my favourite Austral...

There was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong.

Here is a self portrait. I’m calling it Portrait of a lady in a dirty window . Shocking, isn’t it? However, it is apt! Samhain , Nos Galan Gaeaf , Hop-tu-Naa , All Saints , All Hallows , Hallowmas , Hallowe'en or HALLOWEEN . It’s Theme Thursday and we’re talking about the festivals traditionally held at the end of the harvest season. Huh? No wonder Australians have trouble with the concept of HALLOWEEN. For the record, in my thirty-two L O N G years on the planet, I can’t say I’ve ever seen ghosts ‘n goblins, trick ‘n treaters or Michael Myers stalking Tasmania’s streets at the end of October. [That said, I did once see a woman as pale as a ghost turning tricks that looked like Michael Myers in late November one time.] Despite the best efforts of Hollywood, sitcoms, and innumerable companies; it seems Australians are impervious to the [ahem] charms of a corporatized variant of a celebration of the end of the "lighter half" of the year and beginning of the "darke...

In dreams begin responsibilities.

A life at sea, that's for me, only I just don't have the BREAD. That's right, Theme Thursday yet again and I post a photo of a yacht dicking about in Bass Strait just off Wynyard. The problem is, I am yet again stuck at work, slogging away, because I knead need the dough . My understanding is that it is the dough that makes the BREAD. And it is the BREAD that buys the yacht. On my salary though, I will be lucky to have enough dough or BREAD for a half dozen dinner rolls. Happy Theme Thursday people, sorry for the rush.