All things atrocious and shameless flock from all parts to Rome.

NAB HQ. Corner of Elizabeth and Liverpool Streets, September 2010.

The National Australia Bank (or NAB) is one of the largest financial institutions and banks in Australia in terms of market capitalisation and customers. Apparently, NAB is ranked the seventeenth largest bank in the world measured by market capitalisation. That makes NAB bigger than such luminaries as Citigroup (US), Morgan Stanley (US), Barclays (UK) and Deutsche Bank (figure it out yourself). Just for the record, the NAB is only the third largest Australian bank, so we’re punching above our weight in the global financial world down here in Oz.

Which leads me to today’s Sunday Top Five, the Top Five Things That Australia Leads the World In (beginning with the letter ‘S’’!

Sheilas: this one should come as no surprise to anyone paying attention. Australian sheilas are renowned the world over for their good likes, fine figures and ~~filthy mouths~~ strong opinions. One simply cannot compile a list such as this without them.

Snags: Although I will confess to being a connoisseur of German-style snags, Australian butchers are renowned for their innovative and economical expansion of the concept. Henry and Ezra are fine judges of a snag, and regularly, they are able to choose between locally produced beef, pork, chicken, lamb, roo, wallaby, and possum. Personally, one of my favourite snags contains the humble crocodile – which I have enjoyed a number of times – but as yet they haven’t quite penetrated the Tasmanian butcheries yet…

Stupidity: don’t get me wrong, I believe that stupidity is a universal human quality found in every nation, race, religion, gender and geographical region on Earth. That said, like all fields of human endeavour: runnin’, jumpin’, throwin’ stuff; many Australians have excelled in the global stupidity ranks. Feel free to nominate your examples in the comments!

Snakes: We love our snakes down here at the arse end of the world. Unfortunately, our snakes are not always fond of a cuddle. Indeed, Australia is the only country that has more venomous snakes than non-venomous species! I advise all visitors to our great land to keep an eye out for snakes wherever they are, whether in the bush, scrub, billabong, beach, nightclub etc.

Shags: Australians love a shag. Men, women and children all day long, in all parts of the country, can be overheard debating the merits of a good shag. Every time that we leave the house, you can be guaranteed to see a shag or two. Aussies are mad for shags. As this blog has demonstrated over the years, the Little Pied Cormorant is perhaps the most beloved Australasian waterbird!

Mad as hell

So there I was, arm hooked up to the machine, watching my plasma swirl away into a bag while the morning news dribbled across the screen like a bad fever dream. And what were they showing? A "riot" in Melbourne, allegedly. The sort of riot where the real thugs wear body armour, carry pepper spray and look like they just walked off the set of RoboCop. The people they were beating? A ragtag crew of teenagers and old hippies—probably fresh out of a drum circle, still smelling of patchouli. But sure, let's call it a riot. Now, here's where it really gets good. I mentioned this spectacle to a few people later, thinking maybe they'd share my outrage or, at the very least, give a damn. But no. What did I get instead? A smirk, a chuckle, and—oh, the pièce de résistance—"You should really just let it go." Let it go? Yeah, let me uncork a nice, overpriced cup of coffee, sit back with my legs crossed, and soak in the latest reality TV trash. Why bother caring when ...

Hold me now, oh hold me now, until this hour has gone around. And I'm gone on the rising tide, to face Van Dieman's Land

Theme Thursday again, and this one is rather easy. I am Tasmanian, you see, and aside from being all around general geniuses - as I have amply described previously - we are also very familiar with the concept of WATER. Tasmania is the ONLY island state of an ISLAND continent. That means, we're surrounded by WATER. That should help explain why I take so many photographs of water . Tasmania was for a long time the place where the British (an island race terrified of water) sent their poor people most vile and horrid criminals. The sort of folk who would face the stark choice of a death sentence , or transportation to the other end of the world. Their catalogue of crimes is horrifying : stealing bread assault stealing gentlemen's handkerchiefs drunken assault being poor affray ladies being overly friendly with gentlemen for money hitting people having a drink and a laugh public drunkenness being Irish Fenian terrorist activities being Catholic religious subversion. ...

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

This is the moon. Have I mentioned how much I adore the zoom on my camera? It's Theme Thursday you see, and after last week's limp effort, I have been thinking about how I might redeem myself. Then I clicked on the topic and discover that it was BUTTON. We've been hearing a lot about the moon in the past couple of weeks. Apparently some fellas went up there and played golf and what-not forty-odd years ago. The desire to get to the moon, however, was not simply about enhancing opportunities for Meg and Mog titles and skirting local planning by-laws in the construction of new and innovative golf courses. No, all of your Sputniks , "One small steps" and freeze dried ice cream was about one thing , and one thing only : MAD Now, I don't mean mad in terms of "bloke breaks record for number of scorpions he can get up his bum", no I mean MAD as in Mutual assured destruction . When I was a young man you see, there was a lot of talk about the type of m...

This will hurt me...

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